Tr*mp Is Triggering Our Childhood Trauma

As he toys with our trauma around lack of safety and security, we can choose to heal ourselves as an act of resilience and resistance. Here´s how to start.

Jul 04, 2025

[Don´t miss my 5 Smiles at the end of this post! 😊]

NOTE: Last week, a subscriber asked me why I don´t use ¨the language of collapse¨ in my Substack.

It´s intentional.

I started doing deep grief work during COVID, with many of my clients speaking English as a second or third language. These women were facing the worst of what life can throw at us.

I learned how to go deep while speaking simply. And I´ve seen how it connects.

So it worries me to see how most (not all) writers talk about collapse. As much as I appreciate their poetic loveliness, words like coherence, emergence, hospicing, and mycelium can feel exclusionary. This language is a red velvet rope that blocks access.

Those who are suffering most do not have the time or capacity to learn this new vocabulary in order to cope. If people don´t recognize themselves in these words, and do not feel invited, they will look elsewhere for support - perhaps to those more focused on bunkers and arsenals than bioregionalism and democratic socialism.

And that´s a problem. If we learned anything from 2024, it´s that language can be weaponized - with disastrous results for the world.

We cannot make the same mistake of ignoring those who do not have fluency or do not find comfort in this flowery language of collapse.

So, that´s why I keep things simple here. Rant over. 😊

Thoughts? Please share in the comments or send me a message at maya@mayafrost.com

<><><><><><><><><><>

We know it hurts. We FEEL the pain.

But we´re not great at recognizing how our responses to our childhood trauma may be triggered by the current U.S. president.

If you experienced fear for your safety or security, and developed responses to those who made you feel threatened, you may find it especially hard to deal with the constant threats flowing from the White House.

This matters, because we are only at the beginning.

Right now is your practice period for developing skills that build your resilience.

See it as an invitation to heal yourself.

Yes, our outrage, fear, and grief are real and understandable.

But how are these emotions showing up for you - and how are you handling them?

I know. This Substack is called Collapse Into Joy, right?

So, why do we have to talk about trauma?

If the word itself triggers resistance in you, pay attention to that.

Because whether you recognize your responses as related to your own trauma experience, or simply agree that the Commander-in-Grief is creating fresh new tornadoes of trauma daily, you are affected.

And in order to find our moments of joy in all of it, we need effective tools that help us see, understand, and manage our reactions.

The first thing to decode is this: are you experiencing dissonance…or despair?

You may be so consumed by your daily activities that you don´t have time to think about collapse or consider how the news might be affecting you.

But when you slow down enough or stop distracting yourself, you get that burn in your belly, that clench in your chest, that furrow in your forehead.

You keep going. But inside, you know that the old ways cannot continue.

That colliding of our crises, the slow crumbling of our systems, is collapse.

It´s here. There is no denying it - unless you choose to stay in la-la-la dissonance mode for as long as humanly possible.

And that´s an appealing option. It feels a whole lot easier than facing reality. But it causes harm, even when you make it look like you´re doing okay.

You might not be experiencing any type of impact that feels direct. Your only whiff of collapse might be a story in the news about a faraway place.

And it´s certainly comforting to stay in that cozy cocoon.

After all, the despair of recognizing our reality can be devastating.

But I am here to tell you that there is a way through it that offers meaning, mending, and mindfulness.

And yes, connection, camaraderie, and that JOY I always talk about.

Healing yourself is an act of defiance. And getting good at it is a wise investment in your future.

The path to healing starts simply, and expands.

First, you need to pick some tools that help you calm your nervous system.

Next are those that deepen your awareness.

Over time, (or with some personal assistance) your basic tool shed becomes a beautiful suite of caring, collaborative, and creative adaptation practices.

That´s where you learn to dance despite whatever crappy music happens to be playing.

Today, I´m offering my favorite tool.

It´s a deescalation move that slows things down when it all feels like too much.

You can use it anytime, anywhere. It is simple and calming.

And it soothes your shredded nervous system.

It´s called the Butterfly. (See? Even the name makes you feel lighter.)

This is a go-to for those who are actively choosing habits that help them cope with trauma, collapse, or both.

You start by sitting and placing your arms across your chest, with your thumbs resting on your collar bones. (That´s me above, modeling it for you.)

You´re going to pat with each hand, alternating, at whatever pace feels good to you.

It might look like this:

Pat right, pat left, pat right, pat left as you breathe in.

Pat right, left, right, left as you hold your breath.

Pat right, left, right, left as you breathe out.

Pat right, left, right, left as you hold your breath.

Repeat, or find your own rhythm that feels comforting.

Next comes the choose-your-own-adventure part:

As you exhale, say a short phrase about how you want to feel, like:

¨I am safe.¨

¨I have what I need.¨

¨I am loved.¨

Try different phrases or a combination and see how that affects you.

Keep them short and present-tense.

Let´s be clear: there are many people around the world who are NOT feeling safe, secure, or loved. That might be you right now, no matter how your circumstances may look to others.

You have a right to feel safe, secure, and loved.

You deserve to feel safe, secure, and loved.

And if you are caught up in political (or other) actions that are threatening you or your loved ones, it is even more critical that you find a way to feel safe, secure, and loved whenever you can.

The Butterfly is part nervous system regulation.

Part attention and gratitude.

Part prayer or plea. (Choose your own language.)

Use it whenever you feel stressed.

I highly recommend doing it after consuming any news!

PROMPT:

Are you spending this time in dissonance…despair…or creative adaptation?

(Hint: there´s overlap. What are your percentages?)

Take time to notice how you are responding to negative news.

Are you feeling fearful…angry…sad?

These also come in waves and varying percentages. Pay attention to exactly which thoughts and feelings are most consistent for you.

Use the Butterfly as your moment to bring your body and mind into balance, if only for a moment. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

We all need to get better at healing ourselves, holding gratitude, and celebrating joy. These are what will fuel us going forward.

This is the practice. This is how we find our way together.

Thank you for being here, and for being open to trying new ways to find comfort and joy.

I so appreciate you!

<><><><><><><><><><>

5 Smiles

This week, I got over my cold and went to Brussels (during a heatwave) to meet up with beloved family members from Hawaii. I am heading to Lisbon today to spend time with more family members who are visiting from California.

Here are a few (mostly kid-focused) things that made me smile recently:

This park hang with our Hawaii family in Brussels.
2. Pink hollyhocks blooming against a pink curtain.
3. The cosmos and calendulas [enthusiastically] planted from seed on our balcony by my five-year-old grandson.
4. This budding crafts display on my office door by my grandson. I told him that after I moved my desk, my video background was now all white, so he decided to add some color for me. (I am Yaya.)
5. This view across the way of a window reflection of two skylights and a rooftop… that looks like Spiderman.