The Dark Truth About Why I Focus On Joy Even (Especially) In This Time Of Collapse
Warning: vulnerable post ahead!
People ask me how I can talk about joy in this time of darkness. They question my seriousness about collapse when they see that I call this Substack Collapse Into Joy.
But focusing on finding the joy in small moments is what saved me over and over again.
Like when I was 5 and my parents divorced and we moved to the next state to live with my grandparents.
When my grandfather died suddenly while mowing the lawn just a few months later.
When my grandmother, devastated by the loss of her beloved husband, descended into dementia...and tried to kill me. Twice.
When my father tried to kidnap my two brothers and me, and was banned from visitation for five years.
When I listened to my mother sobbing in her bed when she came home from her swing shift job at the manufacturing plant late each night.
When she remarried, joining our family with a divorced father of four, and abuse began immediately. (I had just turned 10.)
When, at 15, I was the sole survivor of car accident in which the driver and three other passengers died instantly. (The police and my parents made me promise not to tell anyone I had been in the car, since it happened 25 miles from my home, and it would be "better" for me if no one knew.)
When I struggled with survivor's guilt with zero support, fell into a deep depression, and engaged in multiple acts of self-sabotage. (Example: I showed up at the homecoming dance drunk and high on mushrooms...when I was the homecoming queen.)
As an adult, I lost one brother to AIDS, and two by suicide.
And I have lost all nine of my parents, including my birth, adoptive, and stepparents and in-laws.
There have been hard times in my life. But most people look at me smiling and assume that I haven't suffered.
I have been told that I don't "look" like I have experienced trauma.
Maybe that's because I sought joy. Desperately, at first. Then, relentlessly. And finally, somewhere along the way, it became a habit.
These days, I am the happiest I have ever been. Married to my amazing best friend for 40 years. Four thriving adult daughters. Six wonderful grandchildren.
Though I was raised in a family of humble means, I have been privileged to attend and graduate from college, travel and work around the world, and live in seven countries.
I feel extraordinarily fortunate.
So, it might seem strange that I would choose to focus on collapse and helping others come to terms with the darkness in the world right now. But I find joy(!) in holding space for them as they discover enlivening ways forward for themselves and their communities.
I may be an accidental grief worker, but it is my calling.
I am deeply grateful to be be deeply joyful.
And it is the honor of my life to help others using the very same methods I created to help myself as I dealt with despair over and over again.
PROMPT:
How have you used what you learned during your hardest times?
PLAY:
I’m heading back to the U.S. (California) in a few days for a three-week visit. In addition to playing with two of my grandchildren, I will be meeting up with new collaborators, appearing as a guest on an episode of the ThriveMind podcast, and thinking about my presentation for the World Adaptation Forum in Budapest in April. The event theme is Facing Polycrisis. (Let me know if you’re thinking of attending!)
Also: I have openings for my 1:1 30-day Doom to Bloom™ series from February 6th—perfect for those on the West Coast! If you are a woman (yes, I am working with women only right now) longing to find your footing, rewild your imagination, spark your creative energy, and start your beautiful, possibly silly and subversive actions right where you are, just send me a message or visit my newly-updated website at MayaFrost.com to learn more.
Favorite client comment from last week: “Thank you so much for bringing such fun sidekick energy to the serious task of transforming the way I am facing the future!”
Thank you for being here, and for being open to falling in love with the caring and collaborative future we can [still] create together.
See you next week! ❤️
I just posted that we must stop playing into Trump’s hands as he does terrible stuff to paralyze us. He zeroes in on human weaknesses to control people, keeping people doing what HE wants not what they want or could do since his ego is all he has. His soul is missing. Those of us with souls must stay in our souls as Maya has and do what we can to rebuild power. And what you can do is listen to the teacher whistleblowers at WhiteChalkCrime.com and run for your school board on a democracy platform in groups of four so you’ll control the vote. You don’t need a child in school. You can be young or old. You will create good power.
People cannot connect the dots to our schools while they’re depressed. That’s how he wants us.
Today I got 14 likes at one site where I usually get very few likes. That’s joy! I do believe the worse he gets, the more people will take the time to listen to me, a whistleblowing teacher for 30 years and yet to be heard. There’s joy in knowing the worse it gets the more people will listen to me.
As I’m typing a 15th came in!
Schools are local. They’re ours . Listen to how for decades they’ve been treating teachers who are our democracy keepers at EndTeacherAbuse.org by clicking on STORIES.
Get involved. Our schools are ours but haven’t been for decades now. This is the issue that will unite our country once known. That’s why we must make it known and why I’ll never give up.
You can see me speaking at the DC Mall about this issue in 2008. https://youtu.be/ZGt6fmPPn80?si=yaa1E8zzSO-LWi3D
You’ll hear me warn that we’re going to lose democracy. That’s was 2008. I knew we would because I knew our schools.
Do something about our schools and you’ll find joy in your soul because your soul is what gets you through the bad times since it doesn’t need to win. It just needs to do good.
Beautifully done. You’re an inspiration!